Discover the Science of Success through Realistic Optimism
Last week, I shared a story about optimism and pessimism, discussing how gratitude plays a crucial role in nurturing a positive mindset. As I prepared to delve into another method for cultivating positivity, fate led me to a coffee meet-up with one of my dearest friends.
As we sipped our coffee, my friend brought up a topic. ‘I read your latest piece on your Substack account,’ he remarked.
I nodded and asked, “What are your thoughts on the story?”
He replied, ‘Your writing style is excellent, and the story is well-crafted. However, I have a different perspective. I don’t entirely agree with the idea that we must always maintain a positive mindset.’ He continued, ‘In fact, I believe that those who lean towards realism often find greater success. Realism provides a sense of mental security through achievable goals and practical expectations.’
At that moment, I felt a sense of misunderstanding. It seemed as though my friend had missed the essence of the story. I wanted to convey the importance of managing negative thoughts that often hinder our progress while avoiding the trap of setting unrealistic goals and dreams. I realized that I had made a mistake by not emphasizing the need for positivity while ensuring our goals and expectations remained grounded in reality.
Rather than engage in a potentially restless argument, I took a different approach. I acknowledged my oversight and thanked my friend for bringing it to my attention. ‘You’re absolutely right,’ I told him. ‘This topic deserves more exploration, and I completely agree with your perspective. In fact, it will be the focus of my next story.
The next day, As I delved deeper into the vast realm of the internet, aiming to address what might have been overlooked in my previous story, one thing became increasingly clear to me, my dear readers: I don’t take a step forward without first equipping myself to face the hurdles that lie ahead. It was the topic of my first story on my Substack account.
My objective is to present you with scientifically proven information backed by research, emphasizing the importance of realistic optimism. During my research, I found an enlightening article that sheds light on this subject matter.
In the article titled ‘Be an Optimist Without Being a Fool‘ by Heidi Grant on the Harvard Business Review website, it’s noted that
“Albert Bandura, one of the founding fathers of scientific psychology, discovered decades ago that perhaps the best predictor of an individual’s success is whether or not they believe they will succeed. “Thousands and thousands of experiments later, he has yet to be proven wrong.
But there is an important caveat: to be successful, you need to understand the vital difference between believing you will succeed and believing you will succeed easily. Put another way, it’s the difference between being a realistic optimist and an unrealistic optimist.
In other words, while optimism is essential, it’s equally important to be grounded in reality. Success often requires hard work, careful planning, and persistence. So, it’s not just about positive thinking; it’s about pairing it with practical action
Positivity should always be related to attainable goals. The repercussions of tying your vehicle to unrealistic ambitions can be considerably distressing. In an article titled ‘ Loss Aversion ‘ on The Decision Lap website, it’s noted that studies showed:
“Individuals feel the pain of loss twice as intensely as the equivalent pleasure of gain.”
This concept resonated with me, drawing from my personal experience in the financial sector. It’s analogous to anticipating a monthly salary of $8,000 and then receiving $5,000, which can be utterly disheartening. Conversely, cultivating realistic expectations fosters self-awareness and resilience.
I learned a strategy that I now follow and that you can also adopt to avoid being overly optimistic: practice gratitude for the good things in your life while also being aware of the challenges around you. Take a few minutes each day, either in the morning or before bed, to express gratitude for what you have.
At the same time, mentally prepare yourself to face the obstacles and challenges that may arise, holding onto the unwavering belief that you have the capability to overcome them, even if it takes time. Remember, transformation is a gradual process, so pay close attention to your current circumstances and paint a realistic picture of the future you aspire to attain.
With each step you take towards your goals, let gratitude be your guiding light. This approach is not just my personal opinion; it’s based on extensive research and reliable studies. By adopting this approach, you’ll not only save time but also pave the way for a more fulfilling life.
References:
The Decision Lab: https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/loss-aversion
Harvard Business Review:https://hbr.org/2011/05/be-an-optimist-without-being-a
Penn State Extension https://extension.psu.edu/realistic-and-optimistic-managing-mindset-in-challenging-times
Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Bandura
